


Warning Signs

by yingfei



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Animal Abuse, Azula Has Major Issues, Butterfly Metaphor, Character Death, Character Study, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Family, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Poor Azula :(, Poor Ursa :(, Poor Zuko :(, Pre-Series, Sociopath, Sociopathic Behavior, character introspection, fuck ozai, long oneshot, no beta we die like jet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28315344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yingfei/pseuds/yingfei
Summary: Sociopaths are made, not born. (Or, snippets of Azula's childhood pre-series that hinted of her derangement. Sad. Dark. Angst. Oneshot. "Family-oriented" fanfic but not in a good way...)(Originally uploaded on FF.Net back in May 26 of this year.)
Relationships: Azula & Iroh (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Warning Signs

**Author's Note:**

> Copied from FF.Net's Author Note:
> 
> Sociopaths are made, not born. (Or, snippets of Azula's childhood pre-series that hinted of her derangement. Sad. Dark. Oneshot.) This fanfic brings some elements of the series that were shown in flashbacks or implied, and other parts are my own headcanons and wonders. Many of the situations have her family noticing her behavior and either ignoring it, reprimanding her but not working with her for her to improve her behavior, or in Ozai's case using it as a fuel for her to be his loyal child. Originally a 18k-20k length fanfic, I took the first half of this fanfic and made it into its own thing. This fanfic deals with a child that, in a way, is a sociopath yet questioning her actions as if she's fighting with the small amount of hope still in there against the darkness in her, but in the end, the praising of her father that she felt her mother never would've given her won in the end, and thus the light loses and the child is now a product of her environment.

* * *

**WARNING SIGNS**

_By Yingfei_

© August 2019—May 2020.

* * *

**.**

**.**

**.**

**_Sociopath;_ _noun._ **

_"A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience."_

**.**

**.**

**.**

* * *

**i.**

AT THE AGE OF THREE, there was a girl who bore ebony locks and golden pupils. Her hair was up in a small bun done by her mother, and although she was just a toddler, the girl's father made sure to instill good manners into her.

After all, she's named after her grandfather Azulan, the leader of the Fire Nation, and thus little Azula cannot be a girl who brings dishonor to the king's legacy.

That is why, from the moment she could walk and talk, the maids were told to cater to her every need only if Azula asked for said catering in a proper, calm manner. Why she is taught to never speak out of terms, but never be submissive to anything.

After all, Ozai does not want a possible heiress to the throne to be like her mother, so docile and not at all with a backbone. To Ozai, a girl with such a name behind her cannot be submitted to just being a servant of benefitting marriage.

Which is why he instead orders for her to be a warrior inside with a beautiful demeanor on the outside, despite her young age.

The many times he talks to her as a toddler, he ensures her that those toys she desires will be given to her if she can give him a fierce look as she politely yet firmly asks for it. If she can look him straight into the eye.

Even when it comes to things such as feeding ducks, the few, very few times he saw her doing such a thing, he whispers to her:

" _A true warrior does not let kindness overcome duty."_

He prays that she will not blindly feed the ducks and watch them like Zuko does but, in fact, he _yearns_ for her to feed the ducks and train them to attack and protect her, should an enemy try to drown her into the fountain's water.

That is why he inwardly smirks but outwardly rubs it off as _"Accidents happen, my dear servants"_ when the maids inform him that some of the ducks have either bitten them or have been found with marks as if they were whipped slaves.

Azula is a fast learner. Ozai is relieved and, while Azulan is more or less indifferent, he still certainly gives more softer nods to his youngest grandchild than her elder brother.

* * *

**ii.**

Azula is not a girl who's crazy. She's just a girl who is imaginative and doesn't stand for anyone that takes her for a little kid. She's a girl who simply wants what she wants, really, and isn't a fan of getting tissues out for sob stories.

After all, she is the granddaughter of the Fire Lord! Azula cannot cower in shame or _cry cry cry._ That is quite _un_ princess of her.

What kind of princess—future _queen,_ actually, if stupid Zuko continues fumbling up—would walk around timidly, stuttering every other sentence and unable to stand up straight and fiercely? Not a proper queen, that's for sure.

It is for this reason why, at seven years old, she trains in her red-themed bedroom. She spins and she turns and she kicks with tiny sparks of fire out, and although she can only really grin when she knows she's doing a move Zuko sucks at, there isn't anything wrong with her.

In truth, there is nothing wrong with imagining her dorky older brother as her target. There is nothing wrong with her not being able to wait for the day her small bursts of flames will (hopefully) one day turn into explosions of heat.

That's why, when Azula trains one day and overhears the maids badmouthing her— _"There's something wrong with that child, those eyes of her are holding a future demon!"_ they whisper in each other's ears—she doesn't just go and tell her father, oh no.

The princess of flames is a smart little girl, and thus she goes out of her bedroom and stands before them, no one else around the girl of beautiful scarlet outfits and the oblivious peasants who need to learn their place.

It's funny, really. All Azula does is glare at them and they're at her feet, begging and crying and shivering and _**crumblingcrumblingcrumbling**_ before her.

Azula smiles. It is amazing how words are not _always_ needed to make a kid's status _mean something_ around here!

" _P-P-Princess—"_

With just an unamused glare, the maid recorrects herself.

" _Mistress_ Azula...Please... _Please forgive us..!_ "

Azula looks at her and ponders. The seven year old cups her chin and looks at the ceiling above, her face with no expression but her inner-self guffawing at how wide the pupils of the servants have expanded.

"I don't know... _Hmm_..."

The maids are shaking, _shaking shaking shaking,_ and Azula looks down and a sly smirk, the lip gesture hard to see from afar but from up close could make even grown men feel a shiver down their spines, appears on her young face.

"I guess I'll forgive you for that, as you guys are really helpful in swiping those scrolls from that fire village, so I can know even more moves than stupid Zuko..."

The maids all smile and mutter "Thank you, Mistress! _Thank you!_ " and, at that moment, Azula is happy that her father obeyed her request for her to have maids that knew no home and no other way out of poverty than serving her...

That doesn't make her sadistic, though, because those below you should learn their place, and thus speaking out of their terms should be expected to be something that peasants, who depend on your family, should learn to avoid, right?

...Right?

(No one is surprised when the maids that catered to Azula have all been fired and banished for apparent 'misconduct' and 'verbal and physical threats' towards the pretty little girl.)

* * *

**iii.**

"Pour me more tea, my great maid Mai, and entertain me, Ty Lee the Jester!"

Mai rolled her eyes and poured some tea into the red teacup on the dark brown plate she held, while Ty Lee did cartwheels and backflips around the other two females.

As the more stoic of Azula's friends handed the princess her cup, said royal girl smirked to herself. "Add a little bit more sugar with it, too, Mai. You don't expect a _princess_ such as myself to chow down all that bitterness, do you?"

Mai sighed and mumbled, "Not at _all…"_ before carelessly dropping three sugar cubes into the jasmine tea. The two exchanged unimpressed glances at each other before Azula smirked and Mai rolled her eyes once more.

Ty Lee took the plate from Mai and planted it on her own head, giving twirls and leg lifts and bows, nothing of the tea set falling off or even spilling.

After a few more seconds of parading around, the perky girl gave the plate back to Mai and then, with a great elegance, went on one knee and opened up her arms.

" _Hurrah!_ I hope that I, the great dancer of the Fire Nation, was able to please you dear princess!"

Azula clapped her hands and gave a sideways glance and grin to Mai. " _See,_ Mai? _Ty Lee_ serves me up with a smile. You're practically ruining your face when you frown."

Mai flipped the left side of her hair, responding in her usually deadpan voice, "I'm _extremely_ happy. See?"

Mai gave an awkward smile. Azula laughed. "I bet you could've done a better grin if my _brother_ was here, though, hmm?"

Mai gave a slight blush before she walked away with her usual annoyed face, heading towards a tree. Ty Lee walked on her hands to be right in front of Mai, who already had her back against said tree.

"Mai is in _looooooooove_ with your brother!"

Said girl pushed Ty Lee off balance— _"Oof!" Ty Lee said as she fumbled down head first_ —and looked behind her, to the roofed pathway right behind all three of the girls.

"You're not going to find my brother—well, _your future_ _husband—_ walking around there," Azula said in her mischievous little tone. She got up from the small chair and table. "He went out or whatever."

Azula picked up her cup of tea and gave a little slip before putting it back into the maroon table. She was eight years old, her birthday having been the previous week.

At just eight years old, she already had two lovely serva— _friends_ at her side, one who would definitely be a future knife and dagger and etc master; the other was a gymnast in the making.

Mai was tricky, at first. She was as smart as she was pale and distant, and although she always told Ty Lee and Azula that her mother has trained her to be as docile and submissive as possible, Mai wasn't just going to _kill_ for Azula…

Well, at the time. Azula decided that, when she noticed that the stoic girl seemed to blush around Zuko, she would try to be nicer to her brother when Mai was around to gain the girl's liking and trust more.

She'll even match them up in order to keep a tighter leash on her.

Ty Lee, on the other hand...It was like the acrobatic wannabe was born _just_ to be the mentally and physically flexible minion of Azula's. Even when Ty Lee wasn't sure to do something, she would do it for the princess.

It was to the point where Azula actually felt a tad guilty about asking Ty Lee to do stuff for her, and thus she would try to not say or ask anything that could literally have Ty Lee and maybe even _Azula_ dead.

It was hard work, trying to make one more obedient and the other not so gullible, but so far, Mai has seemed to almost smile and Ty Lee has begun to somewhat think and ask questions before doing anything Azula asks her to.

Azula sat back down and turned her seat so she would face her... _friends?_ Yes, friends.

(Friends were **very** hard to maintain.)

At that moment, Ursa and Zuko came to view, walking out of the house and onto the pathway. Azula's mother and brother happily conversed and looked at each other, not glancing towards the three girls.

Mai blushed. Ty Lee smiled. Azula frowned.

Why were _mother_ and stupid Zuko here? Mother had already told Azula that the mother-son duo were going to spend time together that day, when Azula asked her mother if she could hang out with her.

Now...this play-date, these smiles, the aftertaste of tea that still lingered on in her mouth…Why was it that, every time Azula wanted to be with "mommy," she has no time? Has no need?

Has to always say to Azula, _"No, sweetheart, you're good enough to train on your own. Your brother Zuko needs my guidance to get better,"_ and yet _mother_ always finds a way to get out simple things such as talking or playing and even just _smiling_ with Azula.

Sure, Azula always liked to turn the conversations from paintings and drawings to gore and how Zuko sucks, and she always wanted to play _'_ _let's burn the stupid dresses and dolls Uncle Dumboh always gives Azula,'_ and sometimes Azula smirks and laughs like a mad man…

That was just normal girly stuff, though!

Yes, earlier that day, she went to her mother and asked her if, since Zuko was not doing that well in practice, can she (Azula the _much_ better firebender) get the throne if Uncle Iroh and his son and Zuko die, but that was the _strategic_ side of her.

Azula was just being a typical girl in a typical world where, like dad always tells her, _"A firebending princess must be as charming as she is firm and steady!"_

In a way, _mom_ was the one who didn't really act like a woman of the Fire Nation. She seems more like someone from the pathetic Southern Water Tribes, oh what with those waterbending women's meekness and kindness and _why doesn't mom just yell at her?_

_Order Zuko around?_

_Teach Azula how to perfect some firebending skills?_

_Can she at least_ pretend _to love Azula love Azula love Azula—_

"Azula!"

Said royal firebender gave a little gasp and turned to her right. Ty Lee was sitting next to her, lifting her legs up so she could do a somersault.

"Look at Mai talking and blushing to _Zuuuuuko,"_ the flexible girl said before she gave out a few giggles. Azula rolled her eyes but gave a sincere laugh as she looked at her more quiet friend blushing and talking to a confused Zuko, while Azula's mother laughed and walked away.

Briefly, the matriarch looked at Azula.

Azula gave a sweet smile and a wave, and so did Ty Lee.

Her mother glanced at Ty Lee first and waved, and Ty Lee giggled and began handstanding her way to Mai.

After a few seconds of watching Azula's friends, she then looked at her daughter.

Mother—no, _Ursa_ gave a little sigh before walking away.

(When that afternoon slowly turned into a lonely evening and Azula put powder in her swollen cheeks and rubbed at her red, puffy eyes, she wondered if she should try to be aloof like Mai or more peppy like Ty Lee.)

* * *

**iv.**

"The ducks sure like the milk-bread, don't they, mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart, they do. The ducks of the Fire Nation tend to dwell on those types of grain—it helps strengthen the shells on their small backs."

"Heh, one time, Azula threw a _whole loaf of bread_ at the ducks and two were almost thrown out out of the fountain by the impact! The mother duck jumped up and bit Azula."

"...I worry about that girl, sometimes."

Zuko smiles and pats his mother's shoulders. "Azula didn't try to hurt them mom, don't worry! I think. I taught her how to divide the bread in much easier portions."

The long haired adult smiles back and giggles, telling the boy, "Good thing _you_ are looking out for her! You're ten years old and already living up your title as a prince."

The mother hugs and gives kisses to the forehead of her son, who tries to struggle a little bit out, slightly shouting out, " _Moooom!_ I'm too _old_ for forehead kisses!"

Azula feels a frown slowly forming on her face. She grips unto the first big pole of the pathway, lurking behind it to spy on her mother and stupid Zuko.

Azula's forehead is always cold. Arms are never around her back.

Whenever Azula feeds the ducks, she is alone and sometimes can't remember whether to divide the bread _this way_ or _that way_ or _any other way that doesn't involve accidentally killing the ducks._

That's why Azula prefers dad.

Dad remembers to make Azula's forehead warm, not with kisses, but with the heat he demonstrates right in front of her face as he shows her how to kick flames into the weak points of an enemy's head.

Dad remembers how to hold unto Azula and show her how, if a waterbender or an earthbender takes her captive during a solar eclipse, how to use her moment of weakness against the enemies.

Dad remembers how to show her that _no, the ducks do not like being fed_ _ **that**_ _way,_ and traces her back to the rule of training birds on that they just _earn_ the privilege of tiny pieces and must _earn_ the privilege of going from fighting for little crumbs to sharing loaves that have been cut into fours.

…

Her mom turns to her. Smiles.

Azula rolls her eyes and walks away, pretending that she doesn't hear Zuko shouting out, " _Azula,_ just come back! Mom and I wanna show you something!"

Azula doesn't look back, and instead starts her destination to walking to the training room, where her dad was waiting for her.

After all, she is the granddaughter of the Fire Lord, and must focus on improving her skills of fighting, not her skills of unneeded "family matters."

No wonder Zuko's showings to their grandfather on what he's learned tends to be so _pitiful._

* * *

**v.**

Azula does not know why her mom is always telling her dad that something is wrong with her. That her behavior is disturbing and needs to be fixed.

Azula is not demented. Not at all.

There is nothing wrong with her criticizing Uncle Iroh on her cousin's death, or that her uncle should go and kill her cousin's murderer as brutally as said killer did to her cousin.

As a firebender, he should get revenge first and then cry and give the news later. Dad always tells her that tears don't mean anything if you haven't struck at the person who's cut down your men, or your children, or your wife…

War is a thing that must go back and forth until one move is too strong to be given their just desserts, and since when does the _Fire Nation_ sit down and sob at a loss, even if it's of a loved one?

Fire is the element that burns down without looking back, and even if it gets watered down to the core, it still finds a way to not leave any victims without a scar.

That's why Azula doesn't understand why she was dragged into her room and her mom is screaming at her. Yelling at her. Raising her voice at her.

Making her feel _stupid stupid stupid_ just because Azula had the _audacity_ to give the response that a true warrior in training would say!

"Azula! What is _wrong_ with you, young lady? I am so worried for you. I feel like someone is _coaching_ you to say some of the things you say, or that you're being controll–"

"No one is controlling or haunting me, mother," Azula says as she turns away from her mother, laying down on her bed.

"Azula... _Please,_ don't turn around from me, I'm _worried_ _for you!_ "

Azula rolls her eyes as she hears the beginning of sniffles and waterworks from her mother.

Boohoo, Azula had the _nerve_ to not just be a princess who shakes her head absentmindedly. It's not like a female speaking her mind is uncommon for a firebender—this isn't the _Northern Water Tribe!_

"Azula," she says somberly as she turns Azula around so that the girl can face her, "why do you keep doing this? Why do you say such _cruel things?!_ Please, just go back to being my little Azula!"

 _Ugh._ Azula sighs.

Her mother is annoying.

**Very annoying.**

She is always telling Azula what to do, but never shows her how to do it. Never shows Azula the affection. Never shows Azula how much she "cares" for her.

Instead, she tells Azula that she is a _bad girl bad girl bad girl and_ yes, mother, Azula gets it, she understands that what she said should've been more sensitive, so why is mother still standing there and lecturing her?

Talking worriedly about her?

Acting as if Azula is a deranged girl that's going to kill everyone in her sight, just because she pointed out a flaw in Uncle Iroh's military tactics?

It's like with everyday that passes by, Azula grows closer and closer to her father. Probably because the other day, she heard her parents arguing because her mother had the _nerve_ to tell her father that Azula might need _counseling!_

 _Counseling!_ The _nerve_ of her mother, all because Azula isn't a typical little princess that's submissive and docile like her _mother_ is...

In fact, Azula is so mad at that, she sits upright on her bed and screams out:

" _Not every royal girl wants to be a_ doormat _like you, mother!"_

When her mother cries out of the room, the princess supposes she feels something that is kinda "regret," but she doesn't really know if she does feel guilty...

Or if she even understands the boundaries between what a little girl can or can't say or do around here.

...For a minute, she even wonders if she should go apologize to her mother for her unruly behavior.

(That night, after burning away many damp tissues, though, she decided to let it be. Decided to let that bridge continue to _burn burn burn._ )

She is the granddaughter of the Fire Lord, after all, and like her father always tells her, someone with a status as high as her's should not be in a position of emotional weakness.

So she lets it all _burn burn burn_ , never looking back.

* * *

**vi.**

Five long hours have passed since Azula and Zuko found out about their mother's disappearance, their grandfather's death, and their father's soon to come rise to the throne.

Zuko was crying. Azula just taunted him.

He yelled at her:

"How can you not care at _all_ for mom's disappearance! She's probably _dead!_ "

As soon as those words left his mouth, the trails of aqua fell down his cheeks once more. _Ugh._ Azula rolled her eyes and strutted away.

 _(Why did their mom only give a goodbye to_ _**Zuko?** _ _)_

"True warriors do not continue acting like crybabies," Azula said as she reaches the left corner of the long hallway, "they simply are _warriors_ first and then choose to grieve when all matters of war have been dealt with. You should try being an actual worthy prince, sometime."

As she makes her destiny to her room, she wonders if, maybe, being the granddaughter of the former Fire Lord, the daughter of the current one, and the sister of the possible heir one is as fun as she thought it would be.

She wipes the thoughts off her mind, though, because, well, she _is_ the granddaughter of the former Fire Lord, the daughter of the current one, and the sister of the possible heir to the warm throne.

Like her dad always tells her, someone with a status as high as hers shouldn't be thinking such wishy-washy things, less she becomes like her brother.

**†**

Azula walked into the bathroom and got some makeup that her mother left behind, putting powder on her red cheeks and wiping off the tiny pieces of white paper that were stuck under her eyelid.

It was funny, how she was too young for makeup and didn't care for it but, for some reason, liked putting white powder on cheeks.

When she finished up her powder-session, Azula touched the right side of her forehead. For some reason, there was a lip-like stain on it earlier.

* * *

**vii.**

"...The Fire Lord Ozai!"

Azula smirks. Her favorite parent is now the ruler of things. _Finally._ Grandfather wasn't really bad, but he was a tad too strict on his beliefs for even his own sons to relate to all the way, never mind a princess in a man's world.

With her dad now ruling over everything, there's now someone with the same rules and ideology as her. Someone who can change the world. Someone who won't just cry or beg Azula to _"think and stay quiet like a little girl."_

Azula looks at Zuko. He looks worried. She gives him a wide grin and he frowns, the older firebender half-confused, half-terrified.

(Later that day, no one is surprised when Zuko excuses himself from the feast halfway and Azula takes all his food, the younger sibling of the two telling her father that they should think of expanding more colonies around the outer rings of the territory of earthbenders.)

After all, she is the granddaughter of the former Fire Lord, the daughter of the current one, and the sister of the next heir to the warm throne, and such a prestigious young girl should get _allll_ the nutrients she needs.

* * *

**viii.**

" _AAAAAGHHH!"_

It... _It…_

...It was funny, at first. It was funny to see the stupid Zuko that mother and uncle and the servants and everyone else _(except for her dad and grandfather who actually had their head in the game)_ used to shield as if he were a golden calf.

When Azula turns and sees Uncle Iroh looking away and trembling, the large smirk that was already on her face grew as wide as they could, so much that it slightly strains the sides of her lips.

For once, her uncle isn't giving unneeded advice or giving Zuko nice weapons while Azula gets dolls and books on cooking because _apparently little girls do not get to have dreams of fighting but of dreams of being beautiful-homemakers._

( **Good. Goodgoodgood** _ **good.**_ )

...At least, she _thought_ it was good. Thought it was going to be the moment where her uncle can finally praise her without saying that _"she needs to clear her mindmindmindmindmind."_

Then Azula realizes that it isn't just a single burn and that's that. That it isn't _"Owwww, that hurts, guess I'll take my banishment now and try to find my honor, dad!"_ or anything.

That her father isn't going to start lecturing Zuko on why he needs to do better as the future Fire Lord. That Zuko isn't going into the corner of shame. That Zuko won't will finally be like Azula and their dad and stop acting like mom.

That Zuko isn't just gonna get up and walk away with a little bruise. That it's not just a little bit of his hair messed up. That Zuko isn't going to be ready the next day to step up as the upcoming ruler of the Fire Nation.

No, that's...that's not what happens. Not...not at _all._

Instead, of Zuko just getting up and asking for some bandages, his face is **melting.** The left side of his face is slowly sizzling, the heat so intense that some of the skin covering his left eyelid is also damaged.

Azula's smirk slowly turns into a frown.

This... _This..._

 **This** isn't funny anymore. This isn't the sight of a fool getting karma, this is the sight of her brother being tested like an animal.

She tries to bring back the smirk she just wiped off her face, but it's not coming back. No matter how many times she tries to look at Zuko at defeat, she just feels more and more anxious. Shocked.

Dare she say _terrified?_

' _Father, he's had enough,'_ Azula thinks to herself as she claws and she claws and she _clawsclawsclaws_ the palm of her hands, looking down at them and humming to herself so she can pretend to not see the left side of her brother's face look like meat being heated.

"Father... _he's had enough,"_ Azula says to herself in the quietest tone she's ever had, as she sees her father's hand slowly retract and some of the melted skin from Zuko's formerly flawless face sticking to his palms.

Azula shakes. She looks to her right, eyeing her uncle. He is still closing his eyes. Azula doesn't blame him—perhaps she should've done the same thing.

"You...are a disgrace. You are banished from the Fire Nation, _former_ Prince Zuko," father says as he spits a large flame of fire unto Zuko's left eye. Her brother shuts his eyelid in time but still gets the wrath of the lighting flame.

"Father... _Father...FATHER! HE'S HAD ENOUGH!_ " Azula screams out as Zuko hurries to shake the flames off, but no one turns around because the screams are just in her head head head head head head head head head **headheadhead** ; her mouth is wide open, but nothing comes out of it.

Azula takes a step away. She feels something shaking in her. She feels her breath hitching. She feels her head spinning.

(This isn't at all as satisfying as it was in her dreams. Zuko, get up get up _getupupupupupup—_ )

She feels her eyes widen and widen and widen and _Zuko starts screaming as he tries to clutch some more melting skin from the left side of his face and dad please stop please stop please stop please stop—_

Zuko crawls away backwards. His hands are burned a tad because he tried and failed to rescue some of the goo of his former pieces of white skin.

With a little shout of fear, Zuko turns around and crawls away, and as Zuko sons, their father laughs and the crowds either scoff or give expletives, Zuko glances at Azula.

Their eyes meet, and she is stunned at first.

Then, she realizes that, for once, she is not working hard just to see Zuko's back. For once, she is generally seen as the better sibling. The better child that will one day get the throne.

The _rightful_ child to the throne. Her dreadful stance as being the younger of the two is no longer in the way of having the crown between her hair. She can listen to not "princess" or "the prince's sister" but, _finally,_ **the** Queen of the Fire Nation.

When she does her firebending that comes in shades of cerulean and what not, it is not as a simple master but as the _Lord_ of blue flames.

With that, Azula quickly gives a smirk, something in her breaking apart and smashing as if it's trying to destroy her from the inside out.

His face was hurt, but then of self-shame and thus he turns his gaze unto the floor below him, crawling his ways into the guards that will escort him out.

Alas, she is the granddaughter of the former Fire Lord, the daughter of the current one, the sister of the previous heir to the warm throne and, as of now, Azula is the current successor to the throne.

(That doesn't explain how, when Azula gains back the ability to smirk again a few minutes after Zuko is thrown out, she feels something rise in her chest and her eyes gaze, not at her father, but at the floor.)

* * *

**ix.**

Ever since _he_ left, Azula had a very bad tendency. She would go into _his_ room and shout out _his_ name, waiting to taunt _him_ about Mai's crush on _him_ , or telling _him_ that they should spar again.

Whenever those moments come, however, Azula was met with silence. With a bed perfectly made and with the tiny bits of cobwebs around the foot of the large four-poster bed.

...Her brother has been disinherited and banned for three months, now. It is so...so _booooring,_ living in the house.

All the duties Zuko used to be given (and fail) have been now given to Azula. She would not only accomplish the deeds but go beyond perfection, and thus she was praised heavily.

That didn't make her as happy as it should've, though, whenever it was time for her father and her to feast on dinner. She was used to sitting on the side while Zuko and father sat at the ends, facing each other.

Since Zuko's banishment, _Azula_ is now facing her father. She is no longer siding with her father for every conversation he has with Zuko that goes haywire as they eat the richest of meats.

(It's been a long time since her mother was there to defend Zuko and try to calm down Azula and Zuko's father.)

Azula doesn't really smirk as much as she used to. Sure, some parts of what happened were _kinda_ funny, but the more she thought about it, the more she... _she..._

She felt really _shitty._

**†**

One night, Azula was in her father's room, standing right at the door as her father sat on his bed, the male holding a map full of marks and pinpoints.

She called his name. He looked up from his map.

"Father...will Zuko _ever_ come back?"

He blankly looked at her. "That... _traitor?_ Why do you ask, Azula?"

"...I just wanted to know if he could ever do anything to become the heir again," she said as she looked at her nails.

Ozai put away his map, and told his daughter, "The only way he would be able to reclaim his status as a prince, never mind as the _heir,_ would be if he finds the Avatar—and even your honorable grandfather failed to do that."

Azula should've gave a smile, but she still felt...a tad _unsteady_ with the way her father talked about Zuko.

Her older brother was an idiot, that's for sure, but the banishment stopped being funny and started to be...an overkill, with the fact that the banished former heir was burned so inhumanly by his own _father..._

Azula shuddered as she had a quick recollection of Zuko's melted flesh sticking towards some parts of his skin as it was forcibly heated off of him. It was hard for her to smile at Zuko's punishment that day.

"Zuzu is a disgrace, that is for sure, but _surely,_ father," the princess said as her father gave her a slightly confused look, "he could one day be able to be worthy of even a little pity?"

"What your brother did was far too disgraceful for someone of his former title. A true future Fire Lord wouldn't dare to question the triumphant of his people."

"Yes, dad, I know, but... _but..._ Zuko was burned _really badly,_ and as much as it was nice to see him **finally** face the consequences of being so weak, your flames might've permanently disfigured him."

Ozai gazed at her, his yellow eyes looking deep into the depths of her own yellow ones.

"Azula...this is quite strange of you to suddenly care this much. You seemed delighted when your brother went on his quest and your fool of an uncle went to watch over him."

Azula shrugged. "I wouldn't say I _care_ as much as I'm just curious about it all. What if his eye shuts down, due to how you burned his skin?"

"That is the consequence of failure."

…

It was... _strange,_ in all honesty.

Zuko's failure as a competent future ruler shouldn't of been on her mind like this, and yet here she was, waiting for answers she could've given herself and listening to a man that has promised her what should've always been hers.

"I understand it's _failure,_ father, but I must say...your methods were a tad unfair."

Ozai raised an eyebrow, and then he slowly rose himself up from his bed.

"That is not something I'd expect _you_ to say. My methods are of no question, young lady. Anything less wouldn't fit a disappointment for a son."

"I guess I am a girl full of surprises. Zuko's is definitely a disappointment, but such a full banishment wasn't very needed. Maybe you could've just let him rot in jail for a few months and _then_ give a little scar to him?"

Ozai took three steps towards Azula, and then responded to her, "I do not see any fault in my methods, and with that, your questioning is out of bounds and strange."

Azula shook her head as she pulled at the ends of night shirt. "I am just—"

"Azula, go to your room. I am surprised at your behavior, but as it almost midnight, I shall just list it as the ramblings of a sleep-deprived child."

"A _'sleep-deprived child'_ is not at all what I'd call myself."

"You must be, Azula. This is very unlike you."

"I am just pointing out the rather lackluster of a job you're doing as a leader, father."

Azula mentally gasped as her father's eyes widened. _Why would she say that?_ She isn't the foolish lost-cause of a child that Zuko is. She should smile and nod and bow down to every single thing that her father does, and yet...and yet…

This seems to be the one thing she cannot be the perfect little child, and she is not happy. Neither is her father, because the next thing he says is:

" _Azula...do you want_ _to_ _ **end up like Zuko?"**_

**...**

Azula narrowed her eyes at her father. How _dare_ he have the nerve to even _think_ to put Zuzu and her in the same category?

Zuko is a fool. Zuko is naive and too kind and too much like their mother who bore long black hair and looked down at Azula, never bothering to try to engage in conversation (even though Azula isn't for small talk) or doll-playing (even though Azula burns dolls) or combing Azula's hair (even though Azula preferred the maids to do it for her.)

Azula is not a fool. Azula is wise beyond her age and strict and like their father who bore long black hair and looked in satisfaction at Azula, praising her (though never giving hugs) and telling all the generals about her potential (but never telling her that he'll attend her school's demonstration of firebending-themed plays) and teaching her even more ways to punch and kick around flames (though never teaching her how to play with fire and burn, no, she had to force the children at her school to teach her that when she was younger…)

Yet, despite all these differences, despite all these errors and faults and mistakes Zuko has commited that Azula has managed to avoid up until now…

Azula talks back to her father as if she were Zuko. She raises her voice and stands up defiant but not defiant in the way the perfect little child of Ozai should stand confidently.

"Is that supposed to intimate me?" Azula asked her father as she rolled her eyes before closing them. She flipped the left side of her let-down hair. "You and I _both_ know that I'm not like Zuzu—"

_SMACK!_

Azula was stunned.

"Unlike your brother, you are truly your father's child and not your mother's, so I won't just go 'burn you permanently,' but heed this warning…"

Her father leans down and cups her cheeks, andAzulareally really _really_ _ **really really really really doesn't like the way he's looking at her as if she's just a disobedient servant and birthing flames from his right hand father stop stop stop—**_

"I can just wed you off to a Fire Nation noble's son, in an instant. You are a girl raised to learn how to wield your powers, but that does not mean that you are above me. I stated you were born lucky, but that can change very soon to you being born lucky and _lucky to not be born as a girl just like her mother._ "

The tween flinched as her dad walked back to his bed, and she slowly walked away to go back to her room, she started to wonder if, maybe, her mother wasn't just trying to lecture her.

Azula shook it off, though, as she is the granddaughter of the former Fire Lord, the daughter of the current one, the sister of the previous heir to the warm throne and the current successor to the throne.

She...She **can't** think badly of her father, nor should she ever question him like that. He is the only one who ever saw her, not as a demon, but of a princess with wits and strengths.

She opened her mouth—her body shook and she gripped tightly unto her elbows.

"Y...You are _right,_ father...I... _I apologize…_ "

Ozai's eyes widened, and Azula quickly realized how her voice had cracked and sounded meek with she apologized-the worst thing she could've done.

(Father doesn't hate apologies, but he hates the apologies of the feebish.)

Azula tries to fix herself up and stand more defiant, stand more proud, stand more as _Azula the confident heiress_ instead of being _Azula the shaking little tween,_ but it doesn't fix anything because, in an instant, her father is in front of her, flames in his hands and near her, and suddenly she feels the flames swirl on her face and ' _father please don't treat me like Zuko,' Azula thinks as her father's flames continue to destroy her once flawless face and the left side of her face is meltingmeltingmeltingmeltingmelting-_

"Azula. What did you want from me?"

Azula's eyes widened. _It was all in her head?_ Her father _didn't_ burn her like he did Zuko? Did that mean that she was still born lucky, and she wasn't like Zuko, who was _lucky_ to be born?

Azula walked away.

Her heart was racing and she wasn't quite sure if her father would or would not ever escalate that far, should she disobey him in the near future, but at least her skin is still flawless, her father still looks up at her with a smirk, and she is still the heiress to the throne.

(After all, to be eleven years old and with a scar on her face as well as with no parent to love her is worse than being thirteen, banished and with a scar on her face, with a dad who hates you, a sister who mocks you, _but at least with a mother who loves you._ )

* * *

**x.**

At thirteen, Azula is the most luckiest girl alive. She is not forced to learn how to clean the hallways or cook meat-oriented meals, and she isn't required to learn how to sew _this_ type of fabric or _that_ type of fabric. Although a princess, she is not forced to bear a gown or bear her naked index fingers to small golden halos or silver hoops.

No, she is instead a (warrior) princess with flames of orange that, in time, shall have flames that can turn blue and dangerous and _burnburn_ _ **burn**_ everything, sans the Fire Nation and her legacy. There are no such things as _"arranged-marriages"_ or _"lessons in folding clothes"_ for Azula, the princess who could be both a man and a woman despite only being thirteen for three weeks.

She is without friends—Mai stays in her house and glooms more than usual these days and Ty Lee decided to swap her jewel-covered dresses and sessions of tea-time for leotards and times of dancing in between flames that are not the flames of Azula during hide and burn—and she sometimes trains so hard that _(when no one is looking and she's all alone and her father's gaze isn't on her and she doesn't have to worry about whether or not she does everything perfectly without a single mistake)_ tiny lines of crimson start to seep from her clenched fists, but Azula is happy.

Even though Azula sometimes goes for hours and hours _and hours and hours_ so cold and hungry and tired, she doesn't complain. After all, she is the luckiest princess in the world.

She does not open her eyes at the start of dawn to a ruffled beard and a bear chest next to her in bed. She does not get letters sent to her from the messenger hawks that contain the long list of (forced) "options" of either the First General's son or the Second General's son or the Third General's son and so on. She does not have to braid her hair or put it up in a bun or curl the ends for a beauty standard that'll ensure the rich bloodline of the Fire Nation's royal family.

She does not look at a sewing machine and end up having a voice tell her, _"For your next lesson, my princess, you must sew this so that you can learn to sew the many rips and holes your future children might have in their shirts, despite how well made and strong the clothes of Lord Ozai and his family are."_ She does not look at herself in the mirror and counts the many bits and cuts _and enmarkings and imprints and markings that would, in another world, be on her neck from suitors that can't resist the temptation of putting their hands around her._

No, Azula doesn't have any of those issues—she's only thirteen, after all, and those things wouldn't happen until she gets near the age of 17, that is if she was a regular princess.

She isn't a regular princess, though. She's a warrior who is brave and courageous and disciplined and enlightened and fierce and that's why, whenever she is presenting her each and every firebending move to her father, she has a face of neutrality and acts like the voice telling her to rest because her breathing is ragged and her chest is heaving and her eyes and didullating.

Failure is not an option.

Not at all.

Her father nods at her and puts three of his left fingers up, his golden eyes focusing on hers, and Azula knows what to do _—she always does, because Azula is a warrior of a princess and when her father is watching she is a warrior of a future ruler—_ and immediately she lifts her left leg up, her left shoes facing flat towards the ceiling and little bursts of orange and red that turn into a sizable amount, her left arm swinging and her left palm producing flames that'll one day kill any enemy that tries to stand in her away.

Ozai nods with a slight smirk when Azula finishes her demonstration of the moves she has learned, and when Azula stills, she is happy, because mistakes don't matter in solo-training if her father was never there to witness such blunders.

She is not Zuko. Like her father told her over and over again, Zuko was burned to atone for his failure as a future king, a firebender, a warrior, and most of all as his son that was supposed to finish the world-wise domination of their kingdom—

Azula is now in line for the throne because of her success as a firebender, a warrior, a daughter, and most importantly as a future queen that would ensure to give birth to the next generation of males in the Fire Nation Royal Family that would finish the job.

(She is the heiress of the throne, after all, so no mistakes are allowed, and thus Azula (mentally) flashes a grin as her father smiles in contempt. She is her father's daughter, and most importantly, the heiress to the throne, and thus all she does shall be spotless.)

* * *

**xi.**

At fourteen, Azula is not sure if she's still the luckiest girl alive, despite knowing damn well that she's quite the warrior.

Sure, she wakes up under layers of big and comfy red covers, and she cleanses herself in tubs full of clear water and big lily pads and beautiful rose petals, and she has maids combing each and every tangle out of her long obsidian locks (and she has the power to banish and punish and reprimand and scold any maid that doesn't straighten her hair flawlessly) the minute she sits down in front of her many mirrors, and she has all types of drinks and snacks and meals (and dresses and jewelry and pants and shoes) at her service.

Sure, she is able to present all her arm-swings and backflips and leg-kickings that create currant and gamboge sparks with the power to one day become the conflagration that'll bring even the mightiest of men down to their knees and begging for mercy, and sure she can walk through the common parts of the Fire Nation and have many commoners offering baskets of fruits and hand-made necklaces and bouquets of the richest flowers, but it's sort of lonely to be followed around by bright red-clothed nobodies who are praising her every move as she travels around in the Palanquin held by guards who also give many compliments and nods to her.

For a while, she doesn't know why. She ponders and questions and think out all the possible reasons why she suddenly stops telling the female servants that fixed up her hair to use bigger combs or face her wrath, why she suddenly stops spitting half-bitten cherries at the trembling heads of the men and women who hand-feed her (she doesn't know why, but the pits in cherries don't seem as much of a choking-hazard to her as they used to.) or why she doesn't give a disgusted face at the burgundy shirts and suits and spandexs and curled boots or silver bracelets presented on her bed when it is time for her clean and dry body (which she doesn't ask for extra flower petals to cover while being washed either nowadays, for some reason) to be covered in the best of the best of the Fire Nation's attire.

Despite how much intelligence she possesses, Azula is unable to also question why her once favorite activity of sneering at and threatening the crying Earth prisoners that were being used as free laborers around the richer parts of the Fire Nation, suddenly, is just...well, at best is just able to make her eyebrows slightly raise up.

She's just... _uninterested,_ these days, and she has no idea why even her once favorite hobby of forcing former Earth Kingdom maids and servants to tell her how they felt when the Fire Nation invaded their respective tiny villages started to become tedious.

(She just doesn't know, and as the days passed by and she still didn't figure anything out, it was only more and more frustrating.)

One day, Azula is so bored that she has nothing to do but stay in her room, so of course she decides to order a servant to search around her drawers for anything that may be from the past, and thus the servant hurriedly stumbles and grabs a drawing that, during a Fire Nation festival years back, an artist was "simply requested" to make of Azula, and two more girls.

In an instant, Azula recognizes Mai by the trademark stoic face of the quiet girl that was drawn, and then remembers the distance that has grown between them over the years.

Mai and her family left to go to Omashu six months ago. Even when Mai was still around, she was a lone wolf, barely speaking much more than three times a month to Azula, and even if Mai was more of a talkative girl (and Azula knew her _mother_ would come back before the day Mai genuinely smiles and giggles and talks about something that isn't depressing), she was not interesting to keep around 24/7.

Mai's deadpan, almost completely lifeless personality needed another personality to be around that was irritatingly bubbly and positive to balance it out, but Azula isn't a preppy girl who jumps up in joy and laughs and says "totally" and "like."

 _Ty Lee_ was, though.

Azula looks at said brown-haired, one long braid-having girl to the left of both Mai and her, and she traces the wide smile and bright brown eyes said girl possesses _—Agni, how long has it been since that round face and flexible limbs have walked upside down and side-by-side with Azula?—_ and gazes how bright the salmon pink furisode worn by the doe-eyed girl is _._

Such beautiful doe eyes, Ty Lee has.

(Azula wants to see those innocent-like eyes, for some reason, shine with fear.)

" _Princess Azula."_

Azula lets go of the picture and turns her gaze to her door. One of the personal maids of Azula's father is there, looking down at the floor and slightly flinching. The green-eyed woman takes a step forward and briefly links before she corrects herself.

"...Yes?"

"Y-your father would...like to...s- _speak to y-you,_ " the young maid stumbles out as she fixes the tomo-eri of her merlot-colored kimono; the brunette clenches her teeth when she accidentally brushes against a burn mark on the upper part of her chest.

Azula immediately gets up, looks at the picture in her hand one more time, before she drops it to the floor and presses the heel of her boot over Ty Lee's face until the picture rips apart halfway on it. The black-haired teen pays no mind to it.

"You should make sure your kimono is properly on all the way, the next time you come into my room," Azula says as she walks out the room and the maid follows suit, "and get tighter stockings next time—I can see two burn marks on your right shin."

The maid mumbles a sorry—of course addressing her as 'Princess Azula'—and continues to follow right behind Azula, stumbling every three or four steps.

* * *

**xii.**

The sun was bright; crow-cats gave both cries of a bird and cries of a feline. The air was calm.

Azula stepped forward on her personal Royal Barge Ship. There was a butterfly _—a Sooty copper fritillary—_ on the bow of the ship. It fluttered its wings a few times before it traveled to her open left palm.

Azula gave it a soft stroke on its left wing and then extended her hand out. The insect rubbed its head and antenna on the heiress's palm as Azula thought back to the major events of her life.

The Fire Nation was close to ruling the world—there was no chance for the pitiful South Water Tribe and the North Water Tribe, despite being more advanced than its sister, was not with favorable chances against men who blew flames that caused life-time scars.

The Earth Kingdom was large and with many earth-benders, but the lower areas of the kingdom were either already under The Fire Nation's control or close to being forced to surrender.

_The Four Air Temples have not mattered for decades._

Unfortunately, despite the insignificance of the air population, _the_ _Avatar_ chose to make a reappearance after a hundred years of inactivity.

Unacceptable—the supposed last air-bender ruined the future Ozai saw and the plans Azula memorized from heart.

" _Iroh is a traitor and your brother Zuko is a failure. I have a task for you."_

Azula, was silent as she remembered the words her father said to her a few days prior. Her dear uncle and pathetic brother Zuzu were a disgrace both as firebenders and men.

That disgrace was nowhere as large as the disgrace they both had as pawns. Both her uncle and brother already failed to properly fill their birth-role to be future kings, but their failure to catch the Avatar was on another level.

Faith seemed to play folly in the lives of her great father and herself—the younger siblings of talent were born to siblings who either wasted their talent (Azula still could not believe that the out-of-his-prime Uncle Iroh Azula heard about now compared to the General Iroh in years-old letters were the same person) or had no talent (Zuzu should've been dead where he stands.)

No longer will it continue, however, just like how Azula's father was able to obtain the throne, Azula will have Zuko and Ozai begging on their knees.

Failed pawns are to be reprimanded and discarded, as that is the way of the Fire Kingdom.

...

The butterfly that was on Azula's palm fluttered its wings and once again rubbed its head on her palm.

Azula turned her other hand and allowed a spark of flame to grow, but didn't throw it at the butterfly.

Instead, the fourteen year old enclosed her left hand into a fist once. When she opened her hand up again, the butterfly was still alive but with its body mangled up but not enough to prevent mobility. The left wing was ripped apart.

With a smile, she extended her hand out for the butterfly to fly away. It flew in a downward lopsided fashion for five seconds, and managed to get two inches away from the boat before it abruptly stopped and fell into the water.

Thirty seconds later, the insect's corpse floated on the ocean's waves.

Azula gave an indifferent glance at the deceased fritillary that was a native to the Earth Kingdom. The Sooty Cooper butterflies of the Earth Kingdom paled in comparison to the beautiful hot orange wings of the Fire Nation's Monarch Dragon Milkweed.

" _Princess Azula!"_

Azula turned around and cocked an eyebrow as she walked towards the Fire Nation Sergeant.

"We reach shore in fifteen minutes."

Azula nodded. The sergeant left and the heiress turned her attention to the Earth boat dock that she saw in the distance, and then she made a small spark of blue fire come out of her palms.

Zuko and Iroh were dead men. Those who do not conform to their positions as members of the Fire Nation Royal Family must be put back in their place, and she would make sure of it—

_She is the heiress to the throne, after all._

**[** **FIN.** **]**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Author's Note:**

> Copied from FF.Net's Ending Author Note:
> 
> One of the things that always stuck to me about ATLA was the writing that was behind all the characters, especially with Azula. Rewatching the series last summer made me realize how many signs that she was not all there and was a sociopath that were either hinted at or blatantly given during Zuko's childhood flashbacks and Season 3. I'm only on the first chapter of the first graphic comic made for ATLA, but I do know that later on Azula and Zuko meet up with their mother whose face is changed and doesn't remember them.
> 
> One thing you'll notice about this fanfiction is that although it focuses on Azula being a sociopath, there are times in the fanfiction where she genuine is terrified or feelings guilt. If you've read the comics or seen google images of it, you might've seen that one part where Ursa and Zuko are walking together and talking while Azula is following from a few feet behind and watching them sadly, and then she burns the bushes to get attention from Ursa (which as I type this ending note out made me realize I forgot to write that scene, uuuuuuh if I make a possible sequel, I will write that scene into a prologue or something lol). That made me make a fanfic where Azula had a few times of self-awareness, of almost being able to step forward, but as time went on, she normalized her and her father's actions more and more until the poison that was her father's terrible parenting and manipulation fully set her to be an inhumane warrior set on pleasing her father, being the golden child, and riding those who do not want to be pawns.
> 
> I put emphasis on both Ursa's distance and far away moments of disappointment and Ozai praising Azula for the wrong reasons to show how those opposite but just as toxic levels of parenting could cause Azula to continue with such a terrible mindset. Like, in the beginning, you see that Ozai from the start was putting some stuff into Azula's head but I think because of her age and how far he went with it, she began to normalize it. Maybe when Ozai realized how Ursa doted over Zuko, Ozai had an early feeling Zuko would be a disappointment and thus he would work on Azula as a back-up plan or something. Idk if that worked, but I hope the middle segments where it's noticeable that Azula is questioning herself but at the same time is lacking the ability to fully due it out of fear of disappointing her father because her father has poisoned her mind was executed well; that's why some of the segments end with her repeating that she's a heiress and future ruler over and over again. I wanted it to repeat itself as if she took everything she learned and heard from Ozai when she was a child to heart so much that every-time something bad happened and she was somewhat guilty, her father's words to her and lessons to her would erase anything left, and by the end she was far too gone and only wanted perfection or exactly what her father wanted, hence why in the end she's referring to people as objects and pawns and seeing and doing disturbing things and giving no second glances, like the maid burned by her father or her crushing the butterly.
> 
> I think butterflies represent beauty and insanity depending on the style its used. In this fanfic, it symbolizes beauty, and I think by having her destroy it because it's a different type of beauty to the ones she prefers, it shows that the problematic parts of Azula has won. Especially because rather than just burn it, she made it suffer so she could see it attempt to fly and then drown. In another world, where she didn't feel like her mother hated her and if her father wasn't terrible, I bet she would be loving that butterfly. She would stroke it just as much but instead of crushing it and would watch it fly high, in another world. But that's not the case. No, Azula by the end of this fanfic is just...well, the poison from her father has sunk in ages ago, but by the end of this fanfic, there's not a single cure. The only thing left is for Azula to after the series end up hidden away in a straight-jacket. A true tragedy.
> 
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this fanfic. R&R would be lovely! Ciao!


End file.
